Deep thoughts

I am thankful that I don't have to be to work until 11 am. Okay, that's not the real reason for my post.

I am thankful for all the people who have come into my life one way or another. It's hard for me to let people in, for as long as I can remember I've had a big brick wall covering my heart. Growing up I never noticed it. Although looking back I can see all the things I did to protect myself. Feeling vulnerable is not something I like to feel. I also hate feeling rejection. Even thinking of this makes me a little teary eyed - and for what? I guess I've always just counted on myself (only) and it almost feels like a betrayal to put myself in that situation that might not be good for the heart.

I have always valued quality friends over quantity. I think this way of thinking spills into all aspects of relationships. Each person that comes into my life, if only for a day or a lifetime, i need to see how their essence and presence left a positive impact. Each person has a gift and positive attributes that make life more fulfilled. I need to find comfort in that. And know that just because someone is not in my life forever it's not a negative thing. They left a part of them with me and they have other lives that they need to impact.

In romantic relationships I need to break out of my shell and not wait for them to make their move but to venture on my own and just go with how I am feeling.

All of my life expierences make me who I am today and without the past I am not the present.

I believe Mr. Right is out there. Each day I think I am closer to becoming the Angela that is right for him as he is for me. I find hope in that.