Relationships

Relationships are hard and mine is in turmoil for the past month. I don’t even know what we are. Last week I was going to end things but I couldn’t do it without crying so I said nothing. We have been talking a little small talk here and there since then. Last week I totally felt ready to face the world as an almost single girl – I was thinking of myself as single just not “official”. I told or was asked by a few people and I just told them that I think my relationship with Kevin was ending.. One of my friends replied back with that I shouldn’t settle. Huh? Tell me how you really feel about it. Oh well. Not their life.

Over the weekend Kevin invited me to go to a bbq. I declined; I don’t think that it would be the best place to see each other. He told me he missed me and now I miss him too. I don’t know what to do. He is miserable and has to work out these issues on his own. All he does is work. And he doesn’t even like his job. Actually right now he hates his job. But his job is his number one priority. That just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand how work is #1 when it is so hated. What does that say about our relationship? Maybe all we need it time. I don’t know if I can go back to how things where before the whole work got out of control.

At what point to I draw the line because I have nothing left to give. I do know that sorry isn’t good enough anymore. Sorry doesn’t mean anything if it’s only said. What I do know is that I won’t be spending the night at his place or hanging out over there. If we are to see each other it will be in a date type setting or when I go over there to get all my stuff. :-(